Sunday, February 24, 2008

Operation Hail Mary



"Saturday Night Live" dropped a bombshell last night, coincidentally a Saturday, when they reported that former Governor Mike Huckabee was launching a top secret and last-ditch effort to overtake John McCain to win the Republican presidential nomination. Huckabee's plan, codenamed Operation Hail Mary, was to steal superdelegates out from underneath Senator Barack Obama. Governor Huckabee has reportedly promised some sort of quid pro quo if a superdelegate was willing to switch his or her vote from Obama to Huckabee. What is Governor Huckabee promising in return for this? His band will cover Bob Dylan songs at your wedding, kid's birthday party, or whatever office parties you have coming up.

If all this fails, Governor Huckabee has promised to implement a sinister and insidious Plan B, codenamed Operation Chuck Norris Will Whip Your Ass, All While Not Even Breaking a Sweat.

And in the unlikely event that even Chuck Norris fails, Governor Huckabee will implement a much more moderate, and potentially much more entertaining, Plan C - he will star in the movie version of Bill Clinton's autobiography "My Life" in the title role of "Bill Clinton." Emma Thompson is slated to play a character named "Hillary Clinton." Hollywood Liberal Rob Reiner will direct.

Chuck Norris will play all the rest of the roles (Al Gore, Tipper Gore, Madeline Albright, Janet Reno, George Stephanopoulos) because, well, he wanted to.

2 comments:

Matthew said...

My dad suggested I vote for Huckabee, just to throw a wrench in the Republican primary elections, or to cast a vote against McCain. I voted a Republican ticket because no one in Montgomery County runs on the Democratic ticket.

Thomas said...

I almost would have voted for Mitt Romney if he had lasted to my state because he was just so darn entertaining, Matthew.