Here is an email I just received from my brother-in-law Hector. I assume he is joking:
Regardless of who wins the general election in 2008, this year promises to be of historical significance.
If Hillary Clinton wins the Presidency, we will have our first female President.
If Barack Obama wins the Presidency, we will have our first Kenyan-Hawaiian-American President.
But if John McCain wins, we will have the 44th consecutive white man as President!!! It will be a record-breaking, unprecedented streak for white men holding office in the United States. In fact, never before in the history of the United States have we had 44 white men in a row be President!
Personally I think everyone should vote for the White Man this year. After all, consider this country's progress under White Power. Over 95% of companies in the US are owned and managed by white men. A super-majority of congressmen, governors, cabinet members and military leaders are white, and continue to be so.
You may say "But what about the Iraq war? A white male President brought us into this mess!" Well, you could scapegoat the White Man for this disaster, but if you take a more nuanced view, you would realize that this war started under the watch of the first non-white Secretary of State. (I know its confusing, but Colin Powell is technically not white). And what happened under the watch of the first non-white, non-male National Security Advisor? 9/11, that's what.
Let's look at other examples of white greatness:
White bread continues to outsell wheat, or any other variety.
White appliances hold over 95% of the market
Milk... white
Elmer's Glue... white
Santa Claus... white
Bob Barker... white
Whiteboards... white
Lab coats... white
the paper cup holding my coffee... white
sugar in my coffee... white
person serving me coffee... white
Walmart... white
Disneyworld... white
the Devil... red! not white, red!
The first man on the moon was white... the rocket that took him to the moon was white... hell, the moon is white!
And Jesus Christ himself... white man!
Also, look at the success of the Roman Catholic Church... and they have had even more consecutive white guys... 267!
We could take our chances with a White Not-Man President or a Not-White Man President, or we could continue to have life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness with a White Man President!
Don't change horses in mid-stream. VOTE WHITE MAN IN 2008!
11 comments:
I think Hector and I would have a very interesting conversation!
Now there is something to think about!!!
So, is Hector really your alter-ego? Like Clark Kent to your Superman?
Thomas would love to have me as his alter-ego, but no, i'm just his evil brother-in-law!
My only regret in life, is that I am not a White Man. But I continue to serve White Men whenever I'm needed.
If I had Michael Jackson money, I would turn myself into a White Man... but until then, I have high hopes in science.
cream in my coffee-white!
I like it that I can pass for white when it helps and that I just tell people I am Asian when I applied for scholarships.
I have to disagree with Hector. Just imagine if you were in elementary school and had to memorize all the presidents in chronological order. If you threw some diversity in there (like a black man or a woman), maybe our school kids wouldn't have to struggle so much.
Aren't we supposed to not focus on the color of someone's skin and or sexual orientation and or genetic origin when considering their abilities and qualifications?
Ha, ha, Thomas, I am not ashamed to say I do the same thing for Hispanic scholarships. You get what you can, my brotha' (con permiso: mi hermano).
karyn... i think Tom Skerrit's character in Contact said it best:
I wish the world was a place where fair was the bottom line, where the kind of idealism you showed at the hearing was rewarded, not taken advantage of. Unfortunately, we don't live in that world.
Btw, I loved "Contact," the book and the movie. I felt like reading that book made me a better person, Trollswagen.
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